Unschooling?! ~ Grace for Overwhelmed Homeschooling Mothers

When I first started homeschooling, I read dozens of books on curriculums and teaching styles. I couldn't get enough of them! The main ones that excited my home education appetite was the unit study style of teaching along with the Charlotte Mason ideas. In the end, both were incorporated to create our eclectic style of home education. Surprisingly, it was the book on "un-schooling" that impacted me most. Though my task oriented character wasn't complimentary to this concept, I gleaned much from the book though I never "purposely" apply its concepts. For what it did do, was relieve my anxiety during those "life gets crazy" days!

Note: If you are unfamiliar with un-schooling, it is basically a child led education (you can read more about it here and keep in mind it is different to each parent). I will be sharing my version of un-schooling. 

Oftentimes, there are days (and sometimes weeks and even months!) throughout the year that emergencies come up, sicknesses occur, your extended family needs you, you are in the middle of a move, you have 50 bushels of apples to preserve, your husband needs your help in the family business, friends and family need assistance and the list goes on... and the list goes on!

What is a homeschooling mother to do?

Should she fret and give up her goals of home education every time life throws a curve ball? Should she be overwhelmed and burdened when she can't keep up with her homeschooling schedule? Should she just throw in the towel?

No, what was once important is still important. The reasons you decided to home educate are still valid. We just need to change our thinking during those times. This is where your "un-schooling" insurance comes in!

“An alarming number of parents appear to have little confidence in their ability to "teach" their children. We should help parents understand the overriding importance of incidental teaching in the context of warm, consistent companionship. Such caring is usually the greatest teaching, especially if caring means sharing in the activites of the home.”

~ Raymond S. Moore, School Can Wait

You can have peace of mind that your child is still being educated on those days, it is just a different type of learning, a practical learning experience or even a creative one! Here are some examples of how this could go via my version of un-schooling:

When those buckets of produce are staring at you to preserve, and you need to enlist those extra helping hands, you can consider that whole day "home economics" in your homeschooling schedule.

If you are needed to care for a family member during an illness, have your children help! They are learning valuable biblical lessons of carrying each others burdens. The children can assist you in making meals, serving beverages, singing songs to the patient, reading to the patient and offering up prayers. If you have older children, have them research the illness you are dealing with so they can offer suggestions, menus and ideas to make the patient more comfortable. You have potentially done home economics, Bible (character building) and science (health) that day.

“Education is not confined to books, and the finest characters often graduate from no college, but make experience their master, and life their book. [Some care] only for the mental culture, and [are] in danger of over-studying, under the delusion . . . that learning must be had at all costs, forgetting that health and real wisdom are better.”

~ Louisa May Alcott, Jo's Boys

If your husband decides to take you all to the lake for the week, do not fret! You can call that time a "family field trip". Some other areas of study would be "science" since the waters are full of marine life and critters. Taking little opportunities along the way to share and observe can transform many an outing into a nature study. If your children spend the week swimming their hearts out, you could include "physical education" in your daily homeschool log.

When I needed to start packing for a major cross-country move (and had to sell off 1/3 of our household goods), I had a stack of audio books that were listened to while my laundry was being folded, cheese for dinner was being shredded and produce was cut into salads, etc (anything that helped me to pack and sell so that life could continue was done while listening to audio books). If the book was Heidi, I would consider it "geography" and "language arts" for the day. I would give oral assignments such as, "please bring the globe and locate Switzerland and Germany for me" or any cities mentioned in the book (geography). I would implement narration by asking what each chapter was about as we listened (language arts). Our Around the World Cookbook was brought out and meals were prepared for me based on the country we were focusing on (home economics). On the weekends, we would watch movies located in Switzerland or based on the books we read. It was a busy time but school was being done the best way we could!

If your child is sick in bed, they could still have perfect attendance. If you are allowing them the privilege of watching something of worth for either historical, science or character building content, you can call that day spent learning in bed "history" or "science" in your homeschooling schedule. I think you get the point.

Obviously, older students can still do the basics (reading, writing, arithmetic) if your curriculum and schedule allows and they could also help the younger ones when they are finished to do theirs. I also purchase special independent workbooks for times such as these. Our favorites are the Queen Homeschool curriculums (think Charlotte Mason style workbooks!). When life gets crazy, I pull them out.

"Written directly to the child, our courses need no teacher's manual, and allow both parent and child to develop interests outside of school time, as well as having the time to pursue them."

~ Queen Homeschool Supplies {Affiliate Link}

I have also noticed that once "school" is over for the day, what continues to happen in our home is still education! I see encyclopedias opened (to Rococo Art on one occasion!?), I see a birdwatching notebook being created, animal husbandry books being read and applied in the back yard, meals being made, desserts being baked, little frocks being sewn for little ones, embroidering, painting, drawing, writing of novels, crafting, reading, reading and more reading!

Note: I hate to be the bearer of bad news (or upset anyone) but I must speak plainly. If you keep a no TV schedule these activities shared above will take place. Leaving your child in front of the television all day long is not educational even if the programs are all educational. Although an occasional movie has its place, it is certainly not a replacement for reading, exploring, creativity, playtime and other childhood activities that encourage learning and development. Yes, it may be "the" answer for a few days but please don't make it a habit.

The most important lesson (for mother and children) to learn while homeschooling is that life isn't perfect and smooth! Our children need to understand that we need to roll with the punches. Plans change, things come up and learning how to modify our schedules is also an important lesson to learn. It teaches flexibility (for mother and children). Life doesn't revolve around the homeschool, rather, homeschool revolves around life. That is true education for the real world.

"Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, a life..."

~ Charlotte Mason

I hope this has alleviated some stress and anxiety for those of you going through different situations. I will leave you with a true story to inspire.  Michael Smith (an attorney from the HSLDA) told it at a homeschool convention and I constantly fall back on his words when the going gets tough. There was a woman who had to take off the homeschooling year in order to care for a sick parent. She was very regimented in her homeschool and the time "off" was a great trial to her orderly character. When the children started school again formally the following year, she had them tested to see how many grades they had fallen back during their "educational absence". What she found was that each child had progressed to the next year! They had already learned how to learn and were continuing their education even when she was not able to be a "teacher". I hope this encourages you as it did me. While I am not suggesting that you purposely abandon your homeschool schedule and curriculum, I do hope this offered some grace during those difficult days.

For more home education posts, visit here.

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