Laundry {Life} Lessons for Wives with Abigail Adams

“Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee…”

 ~ Proverbs 2:11

Did you know that Abigail Adams used the "unfinished" East Room of the White House to hang her husband’s freshly washed clothes? As President, she felt his laundry shouldn’t be exposed for everyone to see. This showed a deep respect for her husband and a lot about her discerning and devoted character. She once said of her spouse, “When he is wounded, I bleed.” What love, what affection, what passion!

Abigail Adams and granddaughter Susanna watch as a servant hangs laundry in the East Room– by Gordon Phillips

In a society where many women share intimate information about their marital relationships via the internet and telephone, etc., I think our foremothers would be greatly distressed. In modern language, we call it being “transparent” or "venting" but the old fashioned upbringing of Abigail Adams might insist that we are “airing out the laundry”!

“… remember that you are accountable to your Maker for all your words and actions.”

~ Abigail Adams: Her Letters

The Bible teaches to confess our sins one to another and to pray for one another (James 5:16). However, it doesn’t write that we should be confessing other people’s sins, one to another, especially not our husband’s! Irritations and bad habits are also uncomely subjects to share. A godly wife will seek to preserve the character of her beloved (Ephesians 5:33).

“As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.”

~ Proverbs 11:22

There are instances when a woman does need to speak up (domestic violence, danger to children, etc.). This is where church elders and civil authorities should be turned to for support and guidance. However, in other circumstances, to share with the world all his defects will only create a heart of distrust. This is the exact opposite of what a Proverbs 31 wife would desire to do, for a wise woman builds up her home (Proverbs 14:1)!

"He trusts in her conduct, that she will speak in all companies, and act in all affairs, with prudence and discretion, so as not to occasion him either damage or reproach."

~ Matthew Henry's Commentary

   

“A gracious woman retaineth honor .” ~ Proverbs 11:16a

If you feel a situation that personally happened in your marriage may be a help to others, be gracious and ask your husband for his consent prior to sharing. The “golden rule” is always the best policy in any relationship. Trust in your spouse is very important! He should feel secure in your love, your presence and even in your absence knowing that “you will do him good and not evil all the days of his life” (Proverbs 31:12). Dear reader, may we all endeavor to walk in the noble path of the Proverbs 31 Woman.

"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband:

but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."

~ Proverbs 12:4

“Are there little frictions or grievances in the wedded life? Has her husband fault which annoys her or causes her pain? Does he fail in this duty or that? Do differences arise which threaten the peace of the home? In the feeling of disappointment and pain, smarting under a sense of injury, a wife may be strongly tempted to seek sympathy by telling her trials to some intimate friends. Nothing could be more fatal to her own truest interest and to the hope of restored happiness and peace in her home. Grievances complained of outside remain unhealed sores. The wise wife will share her secret of unhappiness with none but her Master, while she strives in every way that patient love can suggest to remove the causes of discord or trouble.”

~ J.R. Miller, The Family or Home-Making

This post may be shared with some or all of the following link-ups: The Art of Home-Making Mondays, Modest Mom Monday's, Monday's Musings, Make Your Home Sing Monday, Good Morning Mondays,  The Scoop, Titus 2sdays, Titus 2 Tuesdays, Roses of Inspiration, Tuesdays with a Twist, Raising Homemakers, Wise Woman Link Up, Homestead Blog Hop,  Wow Us Wednesdays,  Coffee and Conversation, Homemaking Thursdays, Home Sweet Home, Our Simple Homestead, From the Farm Blog Hop, Front Porch Friday Blog Hop, Awesome Life Friday Link Up, Five Star Frou Frou Friday, Simply Natural Saturdays and Clever Chicks Blog Hop. Thank you lovely ladies for hosting these. Originally shared (though slightly modified) as a guest post for Deep Roots at Home.